Goodbye Bali...

Morning Pages --- July 17, 2010

I just finished breakfast at “The Mansion” a 5 star swanky hotel near the 4 Seasons in Ubud, Bali -- There is super repetitive musak playing and i’m watching guests get begin to lounge at the pool - It’s 10:30 am and partly cloudy. I’m staying here for free (amazing!) thanks to Gaia and her rock star mom Meriam who are curating a huge art event here and building a cultural center. Bali Wood http://www.baliwoodresort.com/index.html

I’m leaving Bali in 19 hours - and as most people feel when it gets close to countdown -- “No! I don’t wanna go!!”

Bali often keeps people here - I’ve met a number of folks on this trip who came for vacation - and then fell in love with the vibe, spirit, and beauty of the island - realized they could make a life here - and just stayed on ...

I’ve hung out with people from all over the world - Americans are few and far between - My new friends include of course Indonesian and Balinese (including some of my sister’s fantabulous “girls gone wild” crew) - but I also made new friends hailing from Russia, France, Australia, UK, Singapore, Argentina, Jordan, Italy, Austria, and Holland.
I think about the book Eat, Pray, Love - my reading material on my last trip here 2 years ago. I believe the movie has been released in the states - though I’ve been completely out of the loop with any news happening stateside (by choice). I’ve seen articles written about the film here - and I think about the romantic notion of falling in love here - there are many fascinating people - but it all takes desire, time, and “timing.”

In the past I visited Indonesia to see my father and my sister. On my last trip here less than 2 years ago my father had a heart attack 5 days after my arrival in Jakarta and after a 2 month hospital roller coaster he passed away in Singapore. This is my first trip back with him gone - it feels different but totally fine. I’m avoiding Jakarta - the nastiest dirtiest shitcrapper of a city I’ve ever been to. No wonder my dad got sick there - that place is poison.

Bali, however, is one of the gems of Indonesia - and of course there are many many many island gems here. I understand why my dad chose his life here -- as a white male you can be king. With just a bit of money you have ladies at your feet, live in a swanky pad with maid and driver, have help to raise your kids, and be granted the luxury of time and space to focus on your passions and work. I get it. I see it.

I don’t want to live here full time. Not now. This is a place to get inspired and to have a relaxed life. a slow life. Time here is warped and passes quickly. I’ve been here almost a month and I’m not yet ready to leave. Maybe 2-3 months is better... hmmm.... I thought I would spend time writing - creating - reading - but I haven’t. I’ve spent a lot of time with people. When you are surrounded with others you get nothing done in terms of “creative” work. I spent a lot of time with my sister (the point of my visit) and with new friends. I suppose for me this has been really good because my tendency is toward solitude. To spend time with others is priceless - There will always be time to be alone later. it’s inevitable.

I haven’t been able to process everything that I’ve experienced in the last few weeks - perhaps that’s why I’m compelled to write. What I’ve discovered about this island is that it is powerful, enchanted, and mystical with both dark and light energies. There is an amazing sense of safety and friendliness - but I’ve also experienced chills from sounds I’ve heard and from the looks in peoples eyes. Magic is strong here - the rituals and practices of the Balinese keep the spirit world very close at hand. Though westerners like myself are only observers - it has certainly reminded me of the power we hold to connect and move ourselves, one another, and the environment around us.

I wish I could’ve spent more time in Ubud - I enjoy the beach so I stayed closer to the coast. Ubud is more in the hills / central - There’s a much more relaxed vibe here - amazing food - yoga studios - spas / retreats - galleries - many more cultural events / dances. There are a lot of artists here - To me it holds more the essence of Bali - not just the beach / surf / beer / Aussie party vibe which thrives on the coast / Kuta area. It just goes to show that you need time to explore - I’ve been to Bali 4 times - and I’m still just scratching the surface. The countdown continues ... and soon ... Tokyo ... oh boy ...